Phone sex hotlines

Being 18 i am now officially allowed to be as legally pervy as i wish. Go to strip clubs ,buy porn, sex hotlines and sex shops. Today i bought my first ever LEGALLY ATTAINED porn mag (note i didn't say first porn mag, i said legally attained ,i've been looking at porn since the first grade ) . That alone was pretty fantastic, as i'm looking through it, enjoying it jerking off and what not .I see one of those tantalizing ads for a  sex hotline.So i decided to try it considering i enjoy phone sex and have had it with strangers out of AIM chat rooms or other chats , i figured "it's only 10 dollars" what the hell. BIG MISTAKE ,the type of phone sex i'm into is dirty talk and mutual masturbation moans that you get with real people during REAL PHONE SEX. These HOTLINES are a joke first off you're calling them cause you're hard and you wanna get off ,and this is what you have to do before you get to select your girl .You listen to the hot recorded message that ensures you're hard by the end of it, ready and primed to blow while talking to a woman, you hit the key and you get an operator. Now this, i kind of expected but it's still awkward as all fuck when you are sitting there boner in hand and this casual operator woman or MAN comes on and asks you a fuck load of questions to verify your ID and worse yet when they pick up they answer with a "HOW MAY I HELP YOU" . Leaving you with a "I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY" splattered all over my face. So i told her i'm new to this walk  me through it, so I'M STILL THROBBING HARD from the porn mag and the recorded message when the operator starts rattling off about payment, i  give her my name, my address, my last four of my social security number and finally my card number. Now here comes another pretty awkward part the operator asks you "what kind of girl would you like?" at this point your boner is either throbbing harder in anticipation or gone by all the delay and awkward feelings so i answered with my preference while still feeling EXTREMELY AWKWARD . I wait on the phone listening to weird techno music finally a voice comes on , she gives her name then asks if "i'd like her to describe herself?", i tell her "sure" (in a more naughty way that i won't put up here) she does so at this point i'm really feeling awkward due to the very interesting pseudo formality of the whole thing. I tell her what type of phone sex i would like to have and we start , she tells me how she wants to suck my dick in that oh so famous overly sexed voice that actually turned me off because of the fake-ness of it    at which point i tell her "no,i want you to gag on it " so she replies with a sexy little something (can't remember what it was ) and then , she literally starts making gagging sounds. Now as i stated before i've done phone sex,MANY TYPES ,  but never a session where they make the sounds you tell them you want to do to them, i was expecting more of a sexy response with dirty talking as she moans ,but no this bitch starts gagging!  So i'm sitting on the phone jerking off for a minute wondering what the fuck she's doing over there when i put it together that she's role playing and faking a gag sound at this point i'm extremely turned off ,but i wanted to get my money's worth so i tell her to talk dirty,she asks me "what do you want baby" ( another note when i phone fuck i don't wanna talk, i want listen to the chick talk extremely sexy and naughty while i jerk off, NOT THINK ABOUT THINGS I WANT HER TO DO! it's hard to think while you're masturbating ) She finally gets frustrated and gives me these snappy " i can't read your mind" so i tell her "get creative" she continues to act like a robot in need of programming so i tell her "seduce me" after 30 seconds of silence i hang up. FRUSTRATED AND UNSATISFIED.  So the next time any of you consider these phone lines for sex, THINK TWICE, you're better off finding a real person in a chat room .